37 The Lovely Crisis: The a Security System is Outdated.....

More often than not, when I perceived there was external breach into my being, I developed a response system to deal with the invasion. If I detected a possible intruder trying to break into my psyche, my response was primarily one of two tactics. When an unwanted visitor ventured beyond The Wall, in my early days I may thwart the incursion with charm - cajole them with cuteness, seduce them with insincerity. As I got older, this approach was less effective. With each encroachment of my boundaries, I increasingly used anger and rage to  defend my personal and internal armor. The problem with this defensive aggression was as the battles wore on, ANY disturbance big or small, real or imagined was met with a full attack with everything I had. My defense system was thrown out of whack. I had become shell-shocked. I am currently installing a new security system. This one is equipped with a "Fierceness detector" that sounds a silent alarm. When any level of anger or aggression is perceived WITHIN ME, the warning signal immediately identifies the presence of fear within my fortress. When my alert signals anxiety WITHIN ME, I can choose how to respond. This can result with a rare show of force as I realize that peace in The Kingdom truly reigns as long as I know the Temple is always safe.