Early and often we learn to morph into those around us. We mirror our partners, our loved ones, our associates for our protection. If we can become like them we can anticipate what to expect. We can take ourselves out of the equation and they can expect someone with whom they are familiar. Follow the leader. Simon says. We learn that others feel less threatened with sameness.
Then, one failed relationship after another, we find a partner with such tremendous wounds and trauma so great that mirroring becomes a masochistic exercise of squeezing so tightly into a box in which we do do not quite fit. We contort smaller and smaller into the box that finally shatters..... And we finally choose our own story. We cannot wear another's garb and must begin to understand what it feels like in our own skin. At one point we we sure that anyone's story was preferable to our own. But now, we can dust off the cover. And crack our own book. And try to read the story that was written for us.
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